Foreign Bodies and Colorful Poop

I have been getting a rash of desperation calls lately and I recently fielded a call from a potential client with two neutered male dogs aged 2 and 4.

She had previously lost a middle-aged dog to an emergency bowel resection that turned septic and had already experienced a few late-night emergency vet visits with both of her current dogs after they had ingested foreign objects that they were having difficulty 'passing'.

She regaled me with tales of their exploits with 'stealing' and the melee that usually followed pursuing the dogs and wresting the objects from them, or watching in dismay as they sucked socks like kids with their first bowl of spaghetti, consumed a half-pound of rich fudge brownies like a vacuum cleaner consumes a dust bunny and other articles as if they hadn't eaten in ages.

Or worse, growling from under the dining room table as the humans gathered around them in some sort of reenactment of a prehistoric fight for the last piece of edible mammoth meat for miles.

There are a bazillion hazards associated with a dogs' ability to acquire and consume articles not meant for digestion and of their owners trying desperately to reclaim these articles before they are destroyed or consumed.

I cannot count the calls I have received from owners who have lost objects as small as diamond earrings to cell phones, television remote controls, articles of clothing, whole baseballs, golf balls, pocket knives both open and closed, lighters, hats, you-name-it; gobbled whole by their pets in the blink of an eye with the appetites of garbage disposals. I cannot recount the number of owners who have vigilantly observed their dogs bowel movements for signs of the article's return to them and I cannot imagine the number who have waited hopelessly, vainly for the obstruction to pass unassisted.

Unfortunately I DO know the numbers of dogs who have died. I also know the number of dogs who have had the life saving intervention from conscientious veterinarians who open them up and fish out the erstwhile contents of their gullets, stomachs or intestines, patch them up and send them packing; back to their homes and the 'special diets' that await them as they recover from their surgeries.

To turn around and have to do it again. And again. And again. I can count those dogs too.

YouTube is resplendent with comical images of dogs with cone-heads that still manage to acquire articles unfit for canine consumption.

Which leads me to the point of this topic.

There are a lot of places I can start with this; but I'm going to start at the beginning.

• Put your stuff away, as in where the dog can't get it. That includes making your kids be responsible for their own stuff and put it away too.
  
• Supervise the dog appropriately (on a leash, with you, IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOU) so you can prevent him from getting your stuff, or your kids' stuff.
  
• If you cannot supervise your dog, confine him in a crate so he cannot get anything but his own stuff.
• If you are lax in your supervision and forget to confine your dog so he does manage to get your stuff, DON'T RUN AFTER HIM AND WRESTLE HIM TO GET IT BACK! To do so sets you up for any portion of the first part of this article, including the creation of resource guarding and the associated growling and biting and even faster consumption of stuff you would rather not have to fish through poo for in order to get back, or pay exorbitant fees for surgery you probably could have prevented if you paid attention to the first point and/or the second point.
  
• Provide appropriate toys! My rule is: man-made toys (you know, the ones you pay top dollar for made of stuff that your house and it's contents are made of) are considered interactive toys and are to be played with under the supervision and with the cooperation of the owner. This way the dog learns appropriate self control as far as acquisition, possession and relinquishment of toys in a controlled and fun way; gets interaction with his owner and equally important, exercise which will mitigate both attention seeking behavior and the boredom that leads to attention seeking behavior.
• Toys of a more organic nature can be used as pacifier toys and can be enjoyed by the dog either in his crate or during 'quiet times' (under supervision, of course). Pacifier toys are pretty limited to bones. Big bones. Hard-baked are best, the entire shank if possible, knuckle to knuckle. They disintegrate as opposed to splinter, are digestible and offer HOURS of fascination for most dogs. They can be used effectively for crate training and to help avert resource guarding behaviors if the dog is allowed controlled access either in his crate or while at large (under supervision, of course). Bleached shank bones are good too. You can stuff them with stuff. Stuff that you approve of, like peanut butter (out of a jar from a manufacturer that is not affected by the most recent recall) or pate' de foie gras if you want. It's up to you. Not the dog.
• Did I mention adequate exercise? They need to exercise their bodies, they need to exercise their minds. They need this routinely, as in every day, to some degree. For any dogs, young and old alike or any derivatives thereof; a walk around the block once a day or the expectation that he will 'self exercise' if his owners turn him out, unattended, in the back yard is just not going to satisfy the dogs' desire to chase, frolic, run, jump, wrestle, dig or otherwise act like a dog. Leave him to his own devices and he'll find things to do on his own, like strip the siding off your walls, or break teeth chewing the cinder-blocks or bricks that comprise your foundation.

• Not lastly, more like firstly, or anytime you forget any of the other important stuff here, never EVER run your dog down to get something back. You invite disaster. Maybe not that time, or even the next time, but I assure you; you are teaching your dog several important things:
• To defend articles with avoidance, escape or aggression
• To run from the bigger, scarier predator. YOU!
• To hide in the cubby under the bed, chair, couch, corner, closet, crate or anywhere the dog feels he is defensible from at least three sides, so he can consume his prize and drive you off more efficiently
  
• To chew harder and swallow faster so the bigger predator can't get it.

Don't set yourself up for failure by trying to wrest away that sock, or cramming your hand forcibly down a dogs throat after the other half of your sandwich or your kid's iPod. You invite disaster by thinking you will be successful. You may be once or twice, but try calling that dog to you after a few sessions like this and see what happens, or better yet, when you REALLY NEED him to drop something, and you move toward him, watch what happens. It ain't purdy, the things people inadvertently teach their dogs....

They say it is far easier to ask forgiveness than to ask for permission. In the case of dogs who ingest foreign objects, it is far easier to mitigate access and teach them to respond to some basic commands than it is to have to suffer the consequences and often heartbreak of having allowed them unadulterated access to your stuff.

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Gratuitous Self Promotion

I was featured in a small portion of the Baltimore Sun newspaper on Sunday, March 1st, 2009 and by that evening the novelty of being a (very minor) celebrity had already chafed.

Odd stares at the grocery store from people I have never met, eyes questioning with that "do I KNOW YOU?" look and the occasional opportunist greeting me like an old friend for that little tidbit of info that will help make their own dog stop biting or stop pooping in the house or stealing their morning breakfast.

The "Hey, weren't you in the PAPER today!" at the top of one's lungs as I scurried to my truck launched more than a few head turns. Unnerving, that... No Paris Hilton, I.

There isn't a sound byte that covers the information they would need without observation and some serious questioning. Like I said in the interview "Don't wait until you're over your head. Seek help before you need it, as opposed to after the damage is done."

And don't think the answers will come at the check-out line of the grocers in the evening of what could amount to the biggest snow of the season.

I'm not being rude, really, but it's 7 pm and my son is at home and hungry and I have been training dogs all day and I would like to see my family at least for a little while. It's Movie Night at the ole' hacienda and there's pizza and sodas and fun family fare.... I would be more than happy to help you, here's my number, I am usually available after 6 pm most evenings and we can set something up to discuss your dogs' problem(s) further.

But that's not the answer they want to hear.

They want cocktail chatter about dogs and want to worship the problems they are having with them as 'charming' or worse yet, for me to wave my majik wand and chant an invocation that absolves them of their problem(s) as if miraculously, what I utter will release their hound from it's terrors and make the world right again.

It just ain't so.

I practice Forensic Dog Training. I have to sift through the interpretations, the conjecture, the 'evidence' in order to get a clear picture of what happens and why. I have to plot a meaningful course from the past to the present and take into account the owners, the home, the dog and the goals.

I have to denude owners of what they think they know in order to create a pathway to learning and understanding.

Then I have to marry the image of the dog in their minds to the actual dog at their feet.

This is not a job for dilettantes.

This is not a job for the faint of heart.

A few clarifications about the article:

When I stated that I "save dogs' lives", I meant that. Not that I am mystical, but that I prevent dogs from losing their homes and often prevent them from losing their lives. Any accomplished trainer does.

I have worked with shelters and breed rescues for years and I see firsthand the dogs that come in due to behavior problems that are wholly the making of their owners' inability, indifference or lack of information to prevent or resolve. I routinely field calls and correspondence that clearly state that the owner is on the precipice of surrendering his dog for XYZ behavior problem.

The job is physically demanding. It is not for the faint of heart. Dog training requires a level of physical fitness and stamina not really needed for an 'indoor' job. It requires that you be prepared to work in inclement weather, in less than ideal conditions, often with animals that are afraid, angry, physically more adept and not readily or profoundly affected by your majikal "whispering" skills. You get dirty, are often cold and wet and you will not ever be considered the font of fashion. You work in cities, on streets and sidewalks, on farm roads and in mud, blazing heat, driving snows and torrential rain. You come home smelling like your charges and often as hairy.

If you are crazy however, you will enjoy this.

If you are lucky, you will be able to do this with the best of the best; people who got their chops doing it the same way, through the same things and can share with you the benefits of their knowledge.

See, dogs don't get vacations. They still have to go outside, whether it's raining, snowing, storming or in blazing heat. Good dog trainers know that and they are well prepared.

I have been bitten more than two times. Real dog trainers have a tendency to forget the grips and the grabs and the nips and the tugs and any other euphemism for a bite that although may draw blood or leave a mark, does not require medical attention. Or if it does require medical attention, it does not require stitches.

I have had two serious bites that required initial medical attention and a bit of follow up. Not bad for three decades. If I had to enumerate each and every time I have been grabbed by a dog in a meaningful way, I would be lost.

Caveat: The first bite was entirely my fault. Almost every bite sustained by a professional trainer is from lack of preparedness. Really.

The second bite was from an owner who "wanted me to get the full effect" of his dogs' behavior firsthand. Even after I requested that the dog be confined when I arrived. That one pissed me off. Really pissed me off. I sustained a full mouth bite to the inside of my left thigh. It could have been uglier; I prevented it from being uglier. It was bad enough.

So please when your trainer requests that you confine your dog upon initial or subsequent visits, don't think for a minute that we are any more immune to bites than your neighbor, children or guests. We may be able to identify when and where and how, but our flesh is still as soft and malleable, our skin still scars, and yes, we too have lawyers.

When you are ready to find a Professional Dog Trainer, don't get muddled in the quagmire of the current political catch phrases. Successful Professional dog trainers do not "Hit, Kick, Shock or Hang" dogs. They wouldn't be in business for long if they did.

My colleague Heather Houlihan at "Raised by Wolves" offers the very best commentary on this topic that shames any attempt I could conceivably make. You would do well to read it.

As for what to look for in a trainer, don't buy into platitudes about what you should or should not do to your dog; it is usually presumptions offered by adherents to a mythological treatise regarding the applications of flawed "science" and other proselytizing balderdash.

Look for a trainer that can get the job done. Look for a trainer that can and routinely applies an appropriate method that fits each dog, not tries to fit the dog to any one method.

As with any "trade" like electricians, plumbers or contractors; the assumption that no guarantee should be offered for dog training is ludicrous. If your trainer cannot offer a guarantee that you can achieve certain skill sets within a reasonable time frame, or accomplish the resolution to specific behavior problems, run, do not walk, to a Professional that can not only safely assure you of reasonable results within a reasonable time frame, but can demonstrate the necessary skills in achieving these goals.

Finally, my philosophy: All paths do not lead to Rome. As an owner it is your obligation to at least look at the map. As a trainer it is my obligation to construct the bridge if you should happen to lose your way.