Gratuitous Self Promotion

I was featured in a small portion of the Baltimore Sun newspaper on Sunday, March 1st, 2009 and by that evening the novelty of being a (very minor) celebrity had already chafed.

Odd stares at the grocery store from people I have never met, eyes questioning with that "do I KNOW YOU?" look and the occasional opportunist greeting me like an old friend for that little tidbit of info that will help make their own dog stop biting or stop pooping in the house or stealing their morning breakfast.

The "Hey, weren't you in the PAPER today!" at the top of one's lungs as I scurried to my truck launched more than a few head turns. Unnerving, that... No Paris Hilton, I.

There isn't a sound byte that covers the information they would need without observation and some serious questioning. Like I said in the interview "Don't wait until you're over your head. Seek help before you need it, as opposed to after the damage is done."

And don't think the answers will come at the check-out line of the grocers in the evening of what could amount to the biggest snow of the season.

I'm not being rude, really, but it's 7 pm and my son is at home and hungry and I have been training dogs all day and I would like to see my family at least for a little while. It's Movie Night at the ole' hacienda and there's pizza and sodas and fun family fare.... I would be more than happy to help you, here's my number, I am usually available after 6 pm most evenings and we can set something up to discuss your dogs' problem(s) further.

But that's not the answer they want to hear.

They want cocktail chatter about dogs and want to worship the problems they are having with them as 'charming' or worse yet, for me to wave my majik wand and chant an invocation that absolves them of their problem(s) as if miraculously, what I utter will release their hound from it's terrors and make the world right again.

It just ain't so.

I practice Forensic Dog Training. I have to sift through the interpretations, the conjecture, the 'evidence' in order to get a clear picture of what happens and why. I have to plot a meaningful course from the past to the present and take into account the owners, the home, the dog and the goals.

I have to denude owners of what they think they know in order to create a pathway to learning and understanding.

Then I have to marry the image of the dog in their minds to the actual dog at their feet.

This is not a job for dilettantes.

This is not a job for the faint of heart.

A few clarifications about the article:

When I stated that I "save dogs' lives", I meant that. Not that I am mystical, but that I prevent dogs from losing their homes and often prevent them from losing their lives. Any accomplished trainer does.

I have worked with shelters and breed rescues for years and I see firsthand the dogs that come in due to behavior problems that are wholly the making of their owners' inability, indifference or lack of information to prevent or resolve. I routinely field calls and correspondence that clearly state that the owner is on the precipice of surrendering his dog for XYZ behavior problem.

The job is physically demanding. It is not for the faint of heart. Dog training requires a level of physical fitness and stamina not really needed for an 'indoor' job. It requires that you be prepared to work in inclement weather, in less than ideal conditions, often with animals that are afraid, angry, physically more adept and not readily or profoundly affected by your majikal "whispering" skills. You get dirty, are often cold and wet and you will not ever be considered the font of fashion. You work in cities, on streets and sidewalks, on farm roads and in mud, blazing heat, driving snows and torrential rain. You come home smelling like your charges and often as hairy.

If you are crazy however, you will enjoy this.

If you are lucky, you will be able to do this with the best of the best; people who got their chops doing it the same way, through the same things and can share with you the benefits of their knowledge.

See, dogs don't get vacations. They still have to go outside, whether it's raining, snowing, storming or in blazing heat. Good dog trainers know that and they are well prepared.

I have been bitten more than two times. Real dog trainers have a tendency to forget the grips and the grabs and the nips and the tugs and any other euphemism for a bite that although may draw blood or leave a mark, does not require medical attention. Or if it does require medical attention, it does not require stitches.

I have had two serious bites that required initial medical attention and a bit of follow up. Not bad for three decades. If I had to enumerate each and every time I have been grabbed by a dog in a meaningful way, I would be lost.

Caveat: The first bite was entirely my fault. Almost every bite sustained by a professional trainer is from lack of preparedness. Really.

The second bite was from an owner who "wanted me to get the full effect" of his dogs' behavior firsthand. Even after I requested that the dog be confined when I arrived. That one pissed me off. Really pissed me off. I sustained a full mouth bite to the inside of my left thigh. It could have been uglier; I prevented it from being uglier. It was bad enough.

So please when your trainer requests that you confine your dog upon initial or subsequent visits, don't think for a minute that we are any more immune to bites than your neighbor, children or guests. We may be able to identify when and where and how, but our flesh is still as soft and malleable, our skin still scars, and yes, we too have lawyers.

When you are ready to find a Professional Dog Trainer, don't get muddled in the quagmire of the current political catch phrases. Successful Professional dog trainers do not "Hit, Kick, Shock or Hang" dogs. They wouldn't be in business for long if they did.

My colleague Heather Houlihan at "Raised by Wolves" offers the very best commentary on this topic that shames any attempt I could conceivably make. You would do well to read it.

As for what to look for in a trainer, don't buy into platitudes about what you should or should not do to your dog; it is usually presumptions offered by adherents to a mythological treatise regarding the applications of flawed "science" and other proselytizing balderdash.

Look for a trainer that can get the job done. Look for a trainer that can and routinely applies an appropriate method that fits each dog, not tries to fit the dog to any one method.

As with any "trade" like electricians, plumbers or contractors; the assumption that no guarantee should be offered for dog training is ludicrous. If your trainer cannot offer a guarantee that you can achieve certain skill sets within a reasonable time frame, or accomplish the resolution to specific behavior problems, run, do not walk, to a Professional that can not only safely assure you of reasonable results within a reasonable time frame, but can demonstrate the necessary skills in achieving these goals.

Finally, my philosophy: All paths do not lead to Rome. As an owner it is your obligation to at least look at the map. As a trainer it is my obligation to construct the bridge if you should happen to lose your way.